Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
