Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
