Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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