on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
