i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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