hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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