The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Someone shit on the floor
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
