OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
