my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
