Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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