Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
