Plan B is the new Plan A
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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