wakey wakey hands off snakey
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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