Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
