That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
