All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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