When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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