Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So much rum. So many feels.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
