He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
