you win again, gameday.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
