...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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