Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
