He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
