My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize