They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
