What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize