just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
