I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize