Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
