You just made me feel so damn special
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Houston, we have a blender
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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