we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Watching her eat just hurts me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
