I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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