bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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