I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
