Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
