it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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