I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
