I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
