i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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