i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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