I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
