Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
