you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
