Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
