I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize