im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
