hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize