I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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