ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
