Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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