What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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