i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
