somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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