Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
