Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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