whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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