I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
