i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
