I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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