Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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