so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
