just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have aggressive nipples.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
