I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Someone shattered a urinal.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
