I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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