She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
